My mind’s gone.

Just a little bit mad, about 30° askew from reality. It’s all your fault, the praise for my sweater (I will wear it to Pilates tonight) was the last straw. As evidence I offer:

Eunny’s Endpaper Mitts in Jamieson and Smith 2-ply shetland. Not the best colour choice to show the patterning, but the combination of heathered gold and purple is rich and warm, like some baroque brocade. Now that winter is just about over (it’s positively warm in the sun out there today), why not knit mitts? Now, I could claim that I’m being sensible, that this means I’ll be prepared for next winter, but I think this
calls my judgement into question. In case it’s not obvious, that’s both colours knitted from the same hand, with both mitts at the same time on a magic loop. Furthermore, that’s my left hand on the left and my right hand on the right, and I took the photo all by myself. Teeth were involved.

And if that weren’t enough, this morning I joined the Grammar Police. Officially. On security camera. I had to stop in Tesco for milk. I don’t normally shop there, I abhor the way the company treats both its suppliers and lower-echelon staff. As I walked down one of the frozen foods aisles, milk in hand, my eye was caught by three matching professionally-printed posters. Neatly arrayed side by side on three cabinet doors, they read

‘Looking for
Yorkshire
Pud’z?
There behind
you!’

The security camera will show me frozen (ha) for several seconds before those words. I hope it catches the look of disbelieving horror that must have passed over my face. I then turn and walk away, more and more slowly, until I stop. I look back, I start to walk back. I stop, I walk away again, slowing, until I stop and dig frantically in my bag for a pen, any pen. I walk briskly back, correct the errors, and walk away again, at peace with myself. It felt good, it really did. I will do it again. I must carry an indelible felt pen in future.

Perhaps it’s because I’m still knitting the Alligator Socks. Is there a rule that says ‘The more you dislike a yarn, the longer any project using it will last?’

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7 thoughts on “My mind’s gone.

  1. Maureen

    So it’s not just me that does that sort of thing then…phew! Even when I text I write in proper sentences. Can’t stand bad spelling or grammar. Only thing to be careful of is if the security guards catch you and write all over your face with the marker pen!

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  2. Joanne

    Grammar and spelling: our friends… Good for you, Sarah! My pet peeve? I am disgusted by the usage of “unique” these days. Very unique is like very pregnant-you’re unique, or you aren’t. I love your color choices for the mitts, and astonished by your ability to knit two colors with only one hand AND take a photo at the same time. Are you sure you’re not hiding another set of arms or two, like an Indian Deity? 🙂

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  3. Joanne

    Absolutely! More drinks for everybody…to answer your question on my blog:Yes, we have tornadoes in KY, and the best place to be in a tornado is the basement. That’s more difficult because we live on top of a cave karst system, but despite this, I have one of the nicer basements in the neighborhood. (cave is right underneath, though!) The dogs are only allowed there when we’re under a tornado warning and the sirens go…we were lucky yesterday, just a bad storm instead. We have friends in Enterprise, Alabama, and that town wasn’t lucky. Our friends are ok, but the tornado passed within two miles of their house, and killed a lot of people nearby. Scary stuff, nature…

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